Tag Archive | Health

One Year After My Diagnosis

Hi Guys!

Here I am reporting to you one year after my breast cancer diagnosis. First of all, I want to express my deepest gratitude for still being here on this wonderful planet, on this wonderful journey that keeps getting more and more interesting as time passes by. So many emotional, soul touching experiences and changes.

Wow my hair is so long now! 

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In this one year I have become another person. When I look back at what this journey did to me, I can truly say that I don’t regret one single moment of this illness. If I wouldn’t have gotten it, I would still be in the same situation and doing the same shit I did for many years and this, my friends, was stressing out myself as well as my loved ones. Planning my life, worrying about what could go wrong and making everyone responsible when things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to be.

I got upset about things, that today seem so insignificant and so small. I sowed the seeds of self-hatred, dissatisfaction and self-destruction and then passed them on to others. Of course, the whole time not being aware of the damage I was doing to my body and soul.

Getting breast cancer was the only way to get the message thru to me. I guess. Because of this experience, I was given a new chance. A chance to see life thru a different set of eyes. Now I can stop and smell the daisies. I can enjoy the sun caressing my skin and the wind kissing my face. I can feel life pulsating thru my whole body and for this I am so grateful.

I can leave the dishes in the sink, an unmade bed, the crumbs on the floor, the water spots on the mirror and the messy pillow arrangement on the couch and guess what? Life still goes on and everyone still loves me exactly the way I am. Can you believe this? Well, sometimes I can’t because just one year ago, I thought that if I wasn’t perfect, then nobody would like me. What a ridiculous thought! But, yes, that is the way it was back then. And because I wasn’t perfect, someone had to pay for my unhappiness.

Right now I feel so blessed and although I don’t know, if I will be there in one year, what I know for sure, is that I will go on taking in every single moment of this precious life. I won’t waste one second of my time living in the past or in the future. I will live right now in this moment. I will live in the present and suck in all the beauty and all the magic that this wonderful life has to give. I will be good to myself and to others. I will share and enjoy the love and the patience and the understanding that came to me at the moment when I let go of my old self and embraced a new me.

Much love!

Daisy

P.S. Happy Birthday Dad. Wish you were here!

Making your needs a priority

Foto am 30-01-2012 um 15.37 #3Are you an emotional garbage can? Then please go on reading.

Did you ever have a day, after a long week, where you just wanted to be alone, maybe catch up on your reading or just relax on your couch? And then it’s like for some unexplainable and mystical reason, the moment you are about to sit your tired butt on that soft and cuddly couch, that the phone rings. At first, you think “oh man, maybe I shouldn’t get it”, but then you pick up, because after all, you want to be there for your friends. So you do this and one hour later, after you’ve hung up, you look at the clock and think “damn”, but it’s ok, because you still have the rest of the day. So you throw yourself into the arms of that awaiting couch, once again open the book and feel a sense of joy because starting now, you are going to relax.

Two pages into your book, you take a sip of tea and then you get a text message from your other friend, whose having marriage problems. She’s not feeling good at all. You read it and think “oh, maybe she needs me” so you answer that text message very quickly and after the tenth message back and forth you realize, this is going to take some time. You call her up at her request because she needs some advise. After one hour and a half of hearing her pour her heart out, you tell her that everything is going to be alright and if she needs you, you will always be there for her. You hang up feeling kind of low, look at the clock and think “damn, I really need to chill”.

So once again, you open your book, look at the page you last saw and realize you’ve forgotten everything you’ve read until this point. So now you have to start from the beginning. You read everything very quickly again, remember what it was about and are again filled with joy that staring NOW you have time. Just as the book is getting interesting, the phone rings again……

So by now you are getting my point. In the worse case scenario, it’s already getting late and you’ve just spent your day, listening to other people’s problems, when all you wanted to do was take care of yourself for a change. In the end you feel empty and probably upset because you just spent all your positive energy on other people. It might be that they passed on some of their negative energy on to you and now your day is kind of ruined for that matter. The question I ask now is: Why do we let others treat us like garbage cans?

When I say this, I mean why do we allow others to load their negative crap out on us? Please, don’t get me wrong. We all want to be there for someone in need, but does this mean taking care of the emotional needs of other people before ours? Is it really a bad thing, to take care of your own emotional needs first? Is is really selfish to love yourself, do something only for yourself and make your happiness a priority? Think about it!

One thing I realized in the mist of my illness, was that if I don’t take care of myself first, then I won’t be able to be there for someone when they really need me. Also, that I’m not here to save the world. It is not my responsibility to try to have all the answers for all my friends and family. The moment I got this, was the moment everything took a change for the better. I know that sometimes it’s hard because many women are brought up with the mentality as mothers and wives, to cater to everyone. My thought is: No one should have to be a garbage can taking in all the pain, sorrow, anger and judgement that others let out of their systems. Hell, it’s no wonder that sometimes we whine up feeling sick after being inundated with the emotional load that others unknowingly throw out at us. I think they sometimes forget, that we too all have our own problems and worries to take care of.

So, the next time you feel like you want to escape from the stress of life and do something for yourself, then I would suggest screening your calls.  Just in case, grandma calls with some good news. Remember, that you can only be a great and true friend, when you take care of your needs first and make your happiness a priority.

Thanks for reading!

Daisy

Today is International NO-CALORIE Day!

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Take the challenge today ! Stop worrying for one day, yes just one day, about what you can, should or shouldn’t eat.

If you been reading my blog, you know that I am a firm believer of positive thinking. But, this here goes beyond that. It about a question that’s been haunting me for many years. Why do people stress themselves out when it comes to eating and food? There are like a bazillion books on diets out there on the market today. You shouldn’t eat this and you can’t eat that…bla, bla bla. Heck, if we were to put all these books together, the only thing we’d probably be able to eat was paper. I see it now. Us chewing on recycled tissues, because after all they are friendly for the environment and they have like zero calories. Wait a second! Aren’t the models on “Heidi’s Top Model” doing this?

I mean seriously, it’s like telling someone not to think of a pink elephant. Of course, they are going to think about it. So, if you are telling yourself “I shouldn’t eat this absolutely delicious-super-duper-chewy-chocolate german cake and thinking about how many calories and fat it has, then guess what? You are probably, going to wind up eating it at some point or another. Just because you are depriving yourself of it. I also know for sure, that after you’ve eaten it (no rather like stuffed it), you will walk around the whole day hating yourself and having guilty feelings, just because you ate it. One question: Do you think that you any different from me? Well, not really. The only difference is that when I decide to eat that piece of cake, I will be enjoying it, savoring every single piece I put into my mouth, and I will be telling myself the whole time, how truly blessed I am to be alive to be able to eat this cake. And also how much I truly deserve it!

Yes, I know what you are thinking! Little Mrs.Daisy is thin, she doesn’t have to worry about dieting, she can eat everything she wants. Wrong! But then again true at the same time. True, I am thin and I can eat whatever I want. But it’s not like I won’t gain weight and like have a metabolism like a marathon runner. No, it’s only because I choose to eat whatever I pleasure and truly enjoy every single bite I eat, without ever stressing myself out about the calorie content, if it’s healthy or not or heck, even if it’s swimming in lard. That doesn’t matter! My secret is that I have fun eating, I eat slow and when I’m feel satisfied, I just stop.

Believe or not, I too used to have massive issues with my weight many years ago. I was the roller coaster queen of gaining and losing weight. When I think back, I remember how I used to stress myself out counting calories, depriving myself of the things that I thought where “bad” for my figure. I was on every diet that came out and promised it was THE diet. And guess? Nothing helped, well at least in the long run. It wasn’t until I finally let go of the power that I was giving to my food, that my weight problems disappeared. I no longer cared what anyone was saying or writing about food. I took control and decided myself what was good for me. Thank God, because now I don’t have these dialogs going on in my head, that prevented me from just living and enjoying everything, including food.

Did you know that everything you resist is stress for your body. It doesn’t matter if its real stress, like something threatening your life or a thought out stress, like you’ll get fat if you eat this or that. Either way your body reacts with the production of stress hormones, that are originally supposed to be there to help you fight or flee. Today we don’t have to run for our lives or fight a lion, but sometimes we have to fight with our bosses or children.

Fact is, it doesn’t matter if your worrying about bills, your health or about food. Stress is stress and when hormones like Insulin and Cortisol are produced, you can do whatever you want, but you won’t lose any weight. So I figure it out this way. Why not just enjoy the foods you love once in a while, savor them while you’re eating them and know that when you are feeling good, you are actually doing something positive for your body.

So with all this said, I now proclaim today as International NO calorie (counting) Day and hope that you will take advantage of this opportunity to let go and enjoy something you haven’t eaten in a while. Give yourself permission to be free of worries about food and allow the joy that life is meant to be, to take over at least for one day.

Thanks for reading.

Daisy

My Cancer Erasing Tips

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Smilies save my life!

Yes, I want you to take good look at this picture of me. It was a while ago, but heck I was looking pretty that day. It was mother’s day and I had just eaten lunch with my son. No one in the restaurant noticed that underneath the wig, I was bald as an eagle. No one noticed the permanent make-up on my brows. No one saw a woman who was having a rendezvous with cancer. Now, I do use this word “Rendezvous” deliberately, because I have banned all negative terminology when it comes to dealing with cancer. And now I’ll explain why.

We always use these, in my opinion, awful words like killing and fighting against cancer. Hell, that just makes me depressed. I don’t want any killing going on in my body. Why can’t we concentrate on words like promoting health or finding ways to help the cancer to go into remission? I, from the beginning of my encounter with cancer until now, never saw it as something negative in my life. I accepted the fact, that I had to deal with it and chose to do it in a positive way. I knew that my body was asking for help and that I had to change something in my life.

So I’m going to tell you what I did and still do. Every night as I lay in my warm and cuddly bed, I close my eyes and visual my immune system cells being smilies :). Yes, these cute little creatures, that sure do put a smile on my face. I picture them bouncing around my body, looking for those unhappy cancer cells. Those, who just couldn’t help it, after all the years of being inundated with negative feelings like anger, hate and bitterness and eventually got sick. So I see these smilies bouncing up and down and then as they come into contact with cancer cells, I literally see them hugging the unhappy cells to death. As they are being hugged, they fall into a deep sleep and just disappear into air. This picture makes me smile, because it’s filled with love and positive energy. After doing this, I fall asleep felling really happy.

There are so many studies, that prove that your thoughts have a great influence on your body chemistry. Does anyone read this stuff? I mean our bodies are amazing. Genuine wonders! I truly believe that a body has the power to heal itself. I mean, it always has. If we get a cut, then it heals all by itself. We don’t have to tell it to close the wound. Our bodies function perfectly for all of our lives. We never have to concentrate on repairing cells because it just does it automatically. So why question our bodies when something like cancer shows up? How about accepting it and learning the lesson that it’s trying to show you.

Other things that I believe are wonderful, when it comes to dealing with cancer are meditation and exercise. They have really helped me to feel healthy and stay happy all through my, as I call it “10 Minutes with Cancer”. I recently saw a report about how cancer cells live from sugar in our bodies. It’s called “Feed a cold, starve a cancer“. Since then, I’ve been eating very low carb and feel incredibly energetic. I thought it would be harder for me, because hell I’m just a chocolate freak. I sure do love eating this stuff. But, I don’t stress myself out. I just go with the flow and see where this incredible journey is taking me.

Funny enough as I’m writing, a picture of my favorite dessert “Death by Chocolate” just popped into my head. Now that would be my way to go. Hahaha.

Keep smiling!!!

Daisy

Why do we stress ourselves out?

Let it all out!

Stress?

Yesterday while having dinner with a friend, we had the most interesting conversation about people and stress. I thought this might be a good theme for Daisy’s question of the day? It started with a simple fact that a lot of women feel the necessity to tidy up the couch pillows and leave the kitchen sparkling before they go to bed. It doesn’t matter how tired they are, if they are sick or living alone. Everything has to look pico bello perfect. For whom? Well…. just in case the president of the United States stops by? Are you kidding me?!!! My friend thought about it for a second and said well “I do it because I feel that I have to it” and “I don’t like the mess”? I asked her if she didn’t tidy up the mess, would anyone complain about the pillows”. Well no” she said “just me!” I looked at her and said “Honey, you don’t have to do crap!”. The only thing that anyone has to do is breath and eat and ok go to the toilet, but basically we don’t HAVE TO DO anything.

I mean, we all know that stress is awful and being under stress for long periods can actually influence our health. So WHY do we do this to ourselves? Frankly, we have enough stress in our daily lives. At the job, at home, heck with our spouses. Wouldn’t it be so much better, if we took those 15-20 Minutes and spent it on ourselves? How about making yourself a cup of tea and looking out at the stars or putting on that moisture mask and flipping thru your favorites mags. Come on, there are lots of things that could make you feel good or put a smile on your face. I’m pretty sure that if you do this instead of folding that blanket and arranging the pillows, that the world won’t stop liking you. 

And just in case the president should stop by, then tell him that your cleaning lady just quit!

Hugs

Daisy

Why do we spend so much time in the past?

If you are going back over your life, focusing on the difficulties of the past, you are just projecting more difficulties into the now. If there’s one wonderful thing that you can do for yourself now, then letting go of the past would have to be it. Yes, I know how difficult this is because I’ve been there.

foto.jpg Spending my time lamenting, hating, being in a state of anger at people or events or even regretting things I didn’t say in the past. What I realized over the years was that doing this prevented me from enjoying this moment and from seeing the little but wonderful things in life. If you are spending most of the time reliving events of the past, you are missing out on what’s going on in front of your face. Also, if you are holding on to negative feelings or blaming someone, then you are taking it all with you into the present and harming yourself. Think about it!. Maybe this could haven been a moment that was important for you, a moment that would have given you a clue as how to go on, or maybe to change something. Maybe someone smiled at you, but you didn’t see it, because you were mad about the past. So, you just missed it. Isn’t that a shame?

How do you start? Well, how about right away, knowing that I truly believe in you! I started reminding myself every single day to remain in the present and since then everything changed for me. At first it was hard and I often had to bring myself to this moment like most of the day. But, as time went on, it became easier and these days I’m living about 90% in the present. I now see and am so grateful for the many splendid things that where there before, but I just couldn’t see. Simple things, like finally seeing the true color of  my friends’ eyes or the beautiful daisy’s growing just across the road. Funny enough, they were always there, waiting for me to take in their beauty. They waited patiently for me. Life is wonderful!

Why do we have to get sick before we realize the truth?

Why does a woman have to wait to get sick, in this case breast cancer, before she realizes how precious every single moment of this wonderful life is?

Breast cancer is not a death sentence! And even if we don’t have that much time left and some of us may die in the process, it’s really not about what we haven’t done or what we won’t be able to do in the future. It’s really about what we are doing now. At this exact moment!

Are we doing the things that make us happy? Are we taking the time to smell the flowers and hear the birds sing? Or are we wasting our precious time lamenting and hiding behind the sickness? Yes, sicknesses are hard sometimes. But doesn’t every sickness help us realize something new about ourselves? Maybe how strong or vulnerable we are? But thinking how terrible it might get or wasting your precious energy fearing a possible future won’t change a thing. It only contributes to missing out on what is going on now. Are we trying to control things, when really the only thing we can control, is this moment? Think about it! Why not make this moment a happy one? And then the next and then the next. Then when it’s time to go, can say we did good.

So do something that puts a smile on your face today!