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TRANSFORMATION

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HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIENDS!!!

As I look back at 2013, I see a year filled with endings, changes and a big transformation in my life. Still, I am filled with gratitude and happiness even if, I muss say it was a trying year. I am thankful for still being here and enjoying every single minute of this wonderful life.

I am more focused and aware of how important the hard times are, in order for us to grow and become the incredible humans that we all are. I have learned to trust more in THE Higher Power and remember that, in that moment, where difficulties arrive, I cannot see the bigger picture. I have also learned to stop listening to that VOICE inside my head, telling me that I’m not good enough and that I won’t amount to anything. That was a hard one! Finally, I have managed, most of the time, to stay in the NOW, be present and not go back to the past or put my projections onto the future.

So in the end, it was an incredible year for my growth and for my development. 2013 strengthened my desire to give more love, judge less, have trust and patience that everything in my life is exactly the way it is supposed to be.

For the first time, I have no idea where I am going, but I am not afraid. I have no job and this week, I was told that I have 3 months to move out of my apartment. 2 years ago, I would have been in total panic and stressed out. At the moment, I see life like an unfinished book and I am on a journey. I have no idea how it will turn out, still, I am totally excited and curious where life will take me. I truly believe that wherever I end up will be the right place for me.

Now that is some good piece of news….hahahaha!

Thanks for reading….. much Love Daisy

 

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Perfection – Everything happens for a reason…..

Everything happens for reason…….

Perfection

Good morning my friends! I hope you that are doing as great as I am today. Well, now you are probably asking yourself, what has happened to me so that I feel so great. Did I get a great new job? Did I fall in love? Did I win the lottery? …..hmmmm. The truth is, that absolutely nothing is happening. Ok…and that’s good?

First, I’ll tell you what I would have done one year ago before my illness. I would have panicked and tried to find something to worry about. I would have gone crazy thinking about the fact that I don’t have a job and the fact that my finances are diminishing and that the man I feel in love with, turned out to be just the opposite of what I thought. I would have been devastated and unhappy. But today, I sit here quietly, patiently and truly determined that everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be. How is this even possible? Yes, I’ve learned to let go and let GOD (or the universe or whatever you want to call it :D)

This is a major transformation for me and you know what? It works. I’ve learned to accept the situation that I’m going thru right now and believe with all my heart, that it is exactly the place where I need to be. I used to live in what I called UNCERTAINTY. That means not being sure what was coming, but also not believing that everything was the way it should be. Kind of like hoping for something better, but not believing something great would happen.

Now I am living in CERTAINTY. These changes have taken place over the last 6 weeks after everything in my life seemed to fall apart yet again. I could have said “didn’t I have enough”, but no!!! I refused to see myself as a victim of life. Instead, I have realize one thing and this is that we all have at some point difficulties with this word called PATIENCE. Sometimes we have very little of it. We all seem to want everything as fast as possible, even if in the end, we know what great changes needs TIME.

So, I am sitting here with a smile on my face, sharing my thoughts with you and hoping that you can realize too, that everything happens for a reason. Everything is perfect, just like our bodies and this universe. Everything works in total perfection and this is the way our lives work too. So, even if we can’t see the connection and the “why” of it all at this time, my friends, and you too are going thru some bad times at the moment, know for sure that there is one.

I can guarantee you, that when you let go and let life make its way and truly believe that there a lesson to be learned, everything begins to get easier and you will be filled an inner peace that will fill your very existence. And that alone is truly comforting.

Thanks for reading!

Big hug.

Daisy

Did you ever hear about Mesothelioma Cancer?

Well, here I am helping out a fellow blogger on spreading the word about the cause of this type of cancer. My father suffered many years from the effects of asbestos. Maybe you can help us in getting the word out there too. Those who wish to learn more about mesothelioma can get more information at the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance www.mesothelioma.com. Thanks and much love!

Did You Know Facts

Every moment is precious….

ImageRecently, I had an experience that made me see, once again the vulnerability of our existence. We plan for tomorrow, put things off for another day  and work like idiots, believing that we will have more time in the future. Well, I am here to remind you that your are on the wrong path.

Last week I was driving on the highway, when suddenly I lost control of my car. On it’s own, it started getting faster and faster. I was a bit surprised and gently stepped on the brakes. I have an automatic, so it’s relatively easy to drive. The brakes weren’t working at all. I was terrified but I tried not to panic. Then I carefully looked under my legs to see what was going on. To my surprise, my rug had slipped forward and now it was stuck, so that I couldn’t brake and that the gas pedal was being forced down. OMG. There was nothing I could do, since I was driving on the fast lane. All the while my car, was getting faster and faster and the highway was very busy.

To make the story short, in a lucky moment I moved across to the emergency lane, where my car kept getting faster. I don’t know what I did, but my car made terrible noises as I pulled the hand brake and shifted into all sorts of gears, before I put it on PARK and turned the key. Thank God, at that moment the car stopped.

As you imagine, I was shaking and tears ran down my face. My heart was pounding like crazy, but I was so grateful that nothing happened. I was still there. I don’t want to think about what could have happened, if I hadn’t been able to reach the emergency lane at the right moment. Once again, I was made conscious of the fact, that your existence can be wiped out in the blink of an eye.

So with this said, I want to spread the message of how precious every moment of your life is and of the importance of making the best of it. Stop worrying about what will come because like I said before, no one will ever really know. Life comes like it comes. Today, I would like to encourage you, from this moment on, to start doing things that make you smile. Enjoy things that make you feel good. Don’t save the champaign in fridge for a special moment or wait to buy that pretty dress or those flowers that you love for tomorrow. Do it today, for today is special! This moment is special! 

And you want to know something else: YOU ARE SPECIAL and YOU TRULY DESERVE IT!

Have a wonderful time!

Hugs

Daisy

Making your needs a priority

Foto am 30-01-2012 um 15.37 #3Are you an emotional garbage can? Then please go on reading.

Did you ever have a day, after a long week, where you just wanted to be alone, maybe catch up on your reading or just relax on your couch? And then it’s like for some unexplainable and mystical reason, the moment you are about to sit your tired butt on that soft and cuddly couch, that the phone rings. At first, you think “oh man, maybe I shouldn’t get it”, but then you pick up, because after all, you want to be there for your friends. So you do this and one hour later, after you’ve hung up, you look at the clock and think “damn”, but it’s ok, because you still have the rest of the day. So you throw yourself into the arms of that awaiting couch, once again open the book and feel a sense of joy because starting now, you are going to relax.

Two pages into your book, you take a sip of tea and then you get a text message from your other friend, whose having marriage problems. She’s not feeling good at all. You read it and think “oh, maybe she needs me” so you answer that text message very quickly and after the tenth message back and forth you realize, this is going to take some time. You call her up at her request because she needs some advise. After one hour and a half of hearing her pour her heart out, you tell her that everything is going to be alright and if she needs you, you will always be there for her. You hang up feeling kind of low, look at the clock and think “damn, I really need to chill”.

So once again, you open your book, look at the page you last saw and realize you’ve forgotten everything you’ve read until this point. So now you have to start from the beginning. You read everything very quickly again, remember what it was about and are again filled with joy that staring NOW you have time. Just as the book is getting interesting, the phone rings again……

So by now you are getting my point. In the worse case scenario, it’s already getting late and you’ve just spent your day, listening to other people’s problems, when all you wanted to do was take care of yourself for a change. In the end you feel empty and probably upset because you just spent all your positive energy on other people. It might be that they passed on some of their negative energy on to you and now your day is kind of ruined for that matter. The question I ask now is: Why do we let others treat us like garbage cans?

When I say this, I mean why do we allow others to load their negative crap out on us? Please, don’t get me wrong. We all want to be there for someone in need, but does this mean taking care of the emotional needs of other people before ours? Is it really a bad thing, to take care of your own emotional needs first? Is is really selfish to love yourself, do something only for yourself and make your happiness a priority? Think about it!

One thing I realized in the mist of my illness, was that if I don’t take care of myself first, then I won’t be able to be there for someone when they really need me. Also, that I’m not here to save the world. It is not my responsibility to try to have all the answers for all my friends and family. The moment I got this, was the moment everything took a change for the better. I know that sometimes it’s hard because many women are brought up with the mentality as mothers and wives, to cater to everyone. My thought is: No one should have to be a garbage can taking in all the pain, sorrow, anger and judgement that others let out of their systems. Hell, it’s no wonder that sometimes we whine up feeling sick after being inundated with the emotional load that others unknowingly throw out at us. I think they sometimes forget, that we too all have our own problems and worries to take care of.

So, the next time you feel like you want to escape from the stress of life and do something for yourself, then I would suggest screening your calls.  Just in case, grandma calls with some good news. Remember, that you can only be a great and true friend, when you take care of your needs first and make your happiness a priority.

Thanks for reading!

Daisy

My decision to start a ketogenic nutrition

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Well today Daisy’s question of the day is: Can a chocoholic and pasta eating freak like me, just stop eating carbohydrates for longer than one day?

If you would have asked me, before I read “Starve a cancer, feed a cold“, which I accidentally (is there such a thing?) happen to run into on this website, I would have definitely given you a big “hell no!” But after reading it, I was honestly shocked, disgusted and yeah…just shocked again. I mean, if you’ve read my story, then you know that last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer. After I had my 5 minutes with cancer (that’s what I call it now), I do recall getting a nutritional program recommending that I eat lots of carbohydrates for energy. So basically that’s what I did. I ate lots of pasta, bread, rice etc. in the hopes of nurturing my body and making it healthy again. And, due to my positive aspect of enjoying life one day at a time, I must say I splurged often and ate tons (okay not tons, but heck quite a bit) of chocolate and sweets for that matter.

Reading the above mentioned blog, sent me literally on a mission. On a mission to find out the truth about the possible effects of sugar on potential cancer cells and/or tumors in the body. I spent many hours researching and in the end said to myself, if this is something that is known for over more than 50 years, why aren’t we doing this? Why is this not common knowledge?

I mean I live in Germany and maybe the message hasn’t gotten out here fast enough. I definitely am aware that sometimes, it does takes a while before one can to get a copy of a good american book and even a great film, but in terms of medicine…heelloooo!!! So I took a deep breath, looked at myself in the mirror and said “Girlfriend you better try this!” Just so that you get a clear picture of my situation, I’ve been feeling great ever since I stopped the chemotherapy. Recently I’ve had some blood work done and my results are truly amazing, after 4 months of meditating, letting go of the past, living in the moment and seeing my cancer as a sign from my body, that I needed to change something. I was supposed to have had 7 Chemotherapys plus radiation but only did two. During this process, I realized that I would rather die, than to put that poison into my body, but that was really a personal decision. I take my hat off to each and every cancer patient, who does all of the sessions recommended. Every single one of them deserves a medal of courage and strength for what they go through during this time with their bodies.

So back to the question of the day. Is it possible? YEEESSSS, it’s really possible! From the moment I decided that I was going to cut down on my carbohydrate/sugar intake and seeing it as something proactive for my health, I realized that I was, yet again, doing something for myself and on my own. I was taking care of me! So now let’s get down to the facts. Getting started was practically very easy. I went shopping and stacked my fridge with everything I needed and then I began eating the recommended protein, fat (I looovee avocados and nuts!!)and vegetables and surprisingly enough, I felt great and really full after every meal. I didn’t even crave any sweets for about 1 week.

Then came the temptation of a birthday party. At first, I didn’t want to eat cake, but I didn’t want to insult my friend, so I wound of eating a small piece. All I can say is: Big mistake! After that, I craved sweets for 2 days. But I didn’t give in to my craving and so I ate some almonds or sucked on a teaspoon of natural peanut butter and then everything was okay again.

It’s been almost 4 weeks now. Have I managed to keep eating low carb? Well, yes I have and I’m damn proud of it. I don’t think I’ve ever gone for more than one day without eating some kind of sugar shit. But I have to say, it’s pretty amazing, because I feel wonderful. I have tons of energy and I’m not tired in the afternoon like I used to be.

Okay, ok it’s only been 4 weeks I know and tomorrow is my birthday. Well, I’m planning on baking a low carb chocolate blueberry cake and a normal cheesecake. Lots of friends are coming over, who don’t even know that I’m doing this low carb thing. But it’s kind of exciting for me. I know that I can manage to keep doing this, if I only stay away from sugar (which has become totally easy because I sprinkle everything I used to drink or eat with sugar now with cinnamon). So there you have it!

I will eventually have to raise my carb intake, because little Miss Daisy doesn’t want to lose more weight. Reminder: I want to cut down on my sugar intake, stay healthy and eventually starve some cancer cells that might have been resistant to my “smily” therapy. You can read about this here on my blog. I will definitely keep you informed of my progress with my new way of life. Maybe someone can share their experience with me. I sure would love it!

Thanks for reading.

Hugs

Daisy

Why is it so hard to love ourselves first?

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What do you say, feel and think when look in the mirror? Are these positive statements like, “I am truly wonderful just the way I am” or more like ” I look terrible today” or “I am so stupid”? Did you ever stop to think that there might be a big connection between loving yourself and how people see or even treat you? “But how can I love myself Daisy, I’m don’t like the way I look and I’m always making mistakes. But the worse part of it is that I’m always comparing myself to others”. Well, let me help you out a little there. Maybe that’s exactly the problem. I mean comparing yourself to everyone else. Or worse just concentrating on all the things you might not like. Honey, you are just not aware how truly wonderful you are. Everyone is. Thank God that everyone looks different and thinks different, that’s just the beauty of it all. It’s the versatility of colors and shapes and heritages that makes this planet so incredible. If everyone looked the same, boy would this be a really dull planet. Every single person and I do mean every single one of us is unique in his own way and deserves to be appreciated and loved. And it’s truly wonderful be able to love such a big variety of people.With this said, there is one important thing that you must understand. No one can truly love you and nothing will change, if you don’t learn to love yourself first.

It took me a long time to get this. I mean I’m almost 48 years old and I’ve been hearing these two words for almost 30 years. Love yourself. I too, couldn’t in my wildest dreams imagine that someday, I would be able to say these words to myself and really, really mean them. I hated myself for most of my life. I mean, the experiences I had, made me feel like I just wasn’t worthy of a happy and successful life. Some of it unconsciously. Some of it self-imposed. But today I have accomplished what many women are still finding hard to do. Love themselves.

Everybody has a story and everybody goes through bad times in their lives. Well let me tell you now, I’m the queen of drama. From growing up poor, never experiencing love from my mother, being sexually abused as a child, overeating, being bulimic, broken-hearted so many times to getting breast cancer. Sometimes I’m so surprised that I didn’t end up in the loony bin, because I have had many a reason to. But no, I am truly amazed as to how I managed to always, like the phoenix, arise from my own ashes. There were plenty of reasons to hate myself. I wasn’t white, I had curly hair, I wasn’t tall enough, I wasn’t skinny enough. And because I couldn’t look like my friends or some sized zero Hollywood scarlet, I just deprived myself of love. I wasn’t good enough. This is what I sad to myself for many, many years.

I thought that if I only accomplished to be all these things, life would then bring me happiness. Well guess what? WRONG!

How did I get out of it you want to know? Miraculously enough, I just decided one day to just stop! I got tired of looking in the mirror and saying nasty things to myself. I became really aware of the negative words that I was thinking and decided that if I didn’t accept myself exactly the way I was, nothing would ever change. So, I started saying positive things to myself everyday. At first it was hard, because I hated just about everything. But I started small. First it was my hands and my eyes, then my lips and my feet. Later my humor and my friendliness. I started writing down all the things that made me unique.

With time, I felt a bit better about myself. So much better that I started working out. I at that point I was thin, but I really didn’t have to look like a skeleton. I no longer wanted a body like Kate Moss, rather just the best body that I could achieve for my age. I. As time went on, I started to feel good. That’s when people started complementing me. But this time I didn’t say “Thank you” and mean “Yeah, yeah you’re just saying that”. I really began to accept and appreciated it from the bottom of my heart. I started to believe in myself. Then one day it really hit me and I realized just how special I truly am. I no longer felt the need to look like anybody else but myself, because I was pretty wonderful just like that. Finally, I could look in the mirror and say ” Woman, you are just damn fine” or “I truly love you” and meant it too!.

This didn’t happen overnight. It took years for me to come to this wonderful place where I am now. But after all these years, I can say that I’ve finally come home. I like who I am and I can look in the mirror and smile. I feel the need to take care of  me all the time. And it  all began with one simple step. The will to want to change. The will to live a happy life being me. The will to be loved exactly the way I am, because in the end, I am the most important person in my life.

Thanks for reading.

Daisy